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My Grey Matter: Sense

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I want to take my tongue and trace your body for so long that I can sketch you perfectly blindfolded.

No sex involved, I just want to understand and touch and taste, the goddess that god moulded.

And god as universe, I think I’ll write you in this verse. I close my eyes, I see your eyes, my pen explains the universe.

Don’t want to tame her, I want a brush to painter her and colour in her background so the world will never pain her.

Direct my thoughts in the day, leading role in my dreams.
Our connections, a reflection, of perfection and it seems.

I hear music and my pen sings along.
You’re my melody and harmony; I love singing your song.

- tgatmar

My Grey Matter: Smile

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When I was little, I had a dream. It was spring or fall; I remember the green hedges that lined the sidewalk as I walked down it. The air was light and crisp, and the sun was shining with a brilliance that forecast a new day.

In the dream I was older, I was all grown up. Walking towards me was a woman. We hadn’t met yet, but I knew she was what I’d heard people talk about on TV and in movies.

She was the girl of my dreams.

When we finally reached each other I stopped, but she walked right past me. Then she stopped and looked back at me. As the sun danced on her beautiful skin, she smiled at me.

A smile that meant: “Well, are you coming?”

The last thing I remember was smiling back.

Now, I don’t remember what she looked like. But I remember her smile. I remember the way that smile made me feel.

That’s why I really hope she looked like you.

- tgatmar

My Grey Matter: Fireflies

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I’m not sure if you understand what I mean when I say I want you.

I don’t want to “lock you down”; I want to hold you up.

I don’t want to hold you up on a pedestal, that would imply you were mine to display.

Nah.

I want to hold you up, help launch you into space, to become the galaxy’s first poet laureate. Watch you stand on the moon, look up into the sky and hear you say,

"Tonight is so beautiful. The stars are out and it’s a full earth"

When you have the time & space, let’s go on an adventure.

Chill together, play together and contemplate the universe. ‘Cause I love seeing your mind on fire when you ignite a thought. It’s like watching fireflies dance under water.

I rethink what you thought was true and smile at its inspiring beauty.

-tgatmar

My Grey Matter: Want

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She said: “What do you want?” 

I looked at her, smiled and replied: “I want you to know how much I love you. A love without anger or fear, a love without shame or pride.
I want you to feel uninhibited loved. 
A love that give you the freedom to grow and gives you a home to stay rooted in. 

I want to be the partner you can share, any and everything with.
And the partner you can sit quietly in a room with, both of us doing our own thing. 
When you cry and the world doesn’t make any sense,
I want you to come to me because I’m your rock. 
When you’re laughing and on top of the world, I want you to come to me because I’m your home.

I want to spend the rest of my days exploring the universe with you. And I want to spend the rest of my nights exploring each other. 

I want to use my last breath in life to kiss you and smile. 
What do I want? The same thing I’ve always wanted, I want you.
What do you want?” 

She looked at me and said: 
"I want to break up." 

- tgatmar

Toronto Photo Essay #7: Ginger Jarvis

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This is my photo experiment.

Toronto is a cultural bubble; it’s a cross-section of different lifestyles and people. 

Each photo set features part of an individual’s story, with Toronto as a backdrop. Together they should create a snapshot of Toronto. 

(This photo set is a bit different in that it was a artistic collaborative between Ginger and I. Ginger was not only the subject, she also art directed and edited this set.)

Ginger Rhyannon Stephanie Jarvis
Graphic artist/Art Director/Compositor/University Professor

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I was born in Newmarket, grew up in Barrie, and have been living in Toronto for about 10 years. My first memory of Toronto, the city lights. I remember driving in on the Gardiner with my dad, all the little headlights and taillights curving around. He would take me in his car carrier, and told me what a sky scraper was for the first time. What an amazing concept to look up at.

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I can’t pinpoint which childhood memory is first, but I remember my home in Holland Landing. I lived here until I was 6 years old. I remember getting potty trained in the bathroom on the main floor, and calling my mother in to help me. I remember having my face painted, and when my dad told me I could show it off, I cried because I thought he meant I had to wash it. 
I have glimpses of memories playing with my brother, pretending to be an old wrinkly lady in the mirror of the bathroom, the swing set in the backyard where I would make up stories in my head about the forest in the distance.

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From my childhood, I also remember my parents cared very much for me and allowed me to try many things I wanted to. They were strict compared to other parents, but I was well taken care of and loved. I had many miserable years because of my brother. He was violent and horrible to me for the majority of the time I lived at home. There was no escaping what seemed like torture many days. Overall, I was a happy, creative kid. I spent a lot of time playing on my own outside with my stuffed animals, sticks and practicing gymnastics, but also had many friends and sleepovers.

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What makes me laugh? I do. Haha. That actually made me laugh. 
Puns make me laugh, when my boyfriend imitates accents, sarcasm, silly faces.. there are so many things that make me laugh. I love to laugh.

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I love Queen west for the shopping, fashion, design and food; the bloor Danforth Bridge in the fall for the view of the colours; the Bathurst bridge at night for the train tracks and city lights. 

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What inspires me? Amazing people. Art that I react to. A really important message.

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Toronto Photo Essay: Ginger Jarvis (@gingeometry)

By: Michael Andrew Reid (@tgatmar)

Toronto Photo Essay #6: Danielle Barr

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This is my photo experiment.

Toronto is a cultural bubble; it’s a cross-section of different lifestyles and people. 

Each photo set features part of an individual’s story, with Toronto as a backdrop. Together they should create a snapshot of Toronto. 

Danielle Simone Barr
Masters Student / TA / Film Programmer

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My first memory may be the first time I danced in public. I may have been three or four, and we were on a family vacation in Mexico. I was super shy. It was one of those, “Kids, let’s get people up and dancing.” moments. No one was going up to dance. So I stood up, walked up to the stage and did this little gig dance. I remember people just absolutely loving it, and my parents being absolutely surprised. 

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My first memory of Toronto was the Forest Hill Jr. School play ground, back in the day when they had the cool wooden playground, and it hadn’t been deemed unsafe yet. And I was climbing through the jungle gym, and I remember my mom stopping me so she could capture a photo of me playing. I think I was 3, and I remember only because I remember her wanting to capture the moment. 

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My nicknames are pretty simple, Dani, DB or any variation of my name really. Although, in first year university when I was studying stats, my nickname was x̄ (x bar).

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I love the sheer number of neighbourhoods in Toronto. There are so many different pockets where you can experience such range of culture, style and emotion. There’s accessibility to so called “high culture”, we have world class ballets, opera, theatres and festivals. But we also have tons of amazing independent venues. I genuinely love Toronto, and I would love to be able to raise a family here.

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Toronto Photo Essay: Danielle Barr (@balloontree)

By: Michael Andrew Reid (@tgatmar)

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